It was 11:30 p.m. on a Wednesday night. Instead of going to sleep like an adult, I found myself sucked into another YouTube black hole, clicking video after video (probably started with a Jon Oliver segment and, three hours later, I’m watching an endless reel of cat videos). That’s when I came across it – the video that was my wake up call – Mel Robbin’s Ted Talk, “How to stop screwing yourself over.”
Robbins, with her high energy and straight-to-the point attitude, owns the stage and demands attention. She calls on each and every person to become personally responsible and accountable for the life they are living. She takes away the excuses you’ve been using to put off living, takes away all the reasons you’ve been hitting snooze, and calls on you to be the person you know you’re supposed to be.
There is one specific moment in the video that felt like a slap in the face. It felt like Robbins was grabbing me by my shoulders and just shaking me (#2 below!). To this day, I just can’t stop thinking about it – and here’s why:
This video is everything that the UpByFive community is about. Mel Robbins calls on you to set your alarm, wake up, be alive. She reminds us that we had a 1: 400,000,000,000 chance of being born and there’s no excuse to not wake up today and live your best life.
Here at UpByFive, we decided it was time for us to get back to work. We want to keep building the community and the UpByFive “fam.” It can be hard to live your best life without support. And that’s what we want to be – a community of passionate go-getters, inspiring one another ever day.
Welcome to UpByFive.
We’re done hitting the snooze button.
We’re ready to work.
Glad to see you’re joining us.
We’ve got more content, our brand new app, our new clothing designs, and more interviews with driven millennials coming. Stay tuned. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook or join our email list to stay in touch.
In the meantime, here are the #TopFive best moments from “How to Stop Screwing Yourself.”
- Stop saying you’re “fine”
“The bigger issue with ‘fine’ is that you say it to yourself. That thing that you want, I guarantee you, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re fine not having it.”
Robbins deems ‘fine’ (which she refers to as the ‘f-word’) as toxic, and I have to agree. No one talks about “fine” ideas or continues eating at a “fine restaurant.” Twenty years from now, no one is thinking about that “fine” trip they took. Life is truly about those moments of great emotion and deep feeling – which can be scary and so incredibly rewarding. It’s time to start having the self-awareness to recognize when “fine” isn’t enough – this is where the big ideas are.
- Start parenting yourself
“What’s interesting about being an adult is that, when you become 18, nobody tells you that it’s now going to be your job to parent yourself. By ‘parent yourself,’ I mean it’s your job to make yourself do the crap you don’t wanna do so that you can be everything you’re supposed to be.”
There a million tips and tricks to make everything in life a little easier or feel a little better, from working out to eating healthy to working at a crap job – but, to be honest, no matter what you do, not everything is fun. If you’re sitting around waiting to feel like doing something, you’re never going to feel like it. Some of the most rewarding things in life aren’t fun, but these are the things that just might make you happy in the long term. So, what’s your thing? What’s that one thing you’ve been waiting to do and you just haven’t felt like doing yet? What’s that one thing you keep putting off until tomorrow? It’s time to put on your big boy/big girl pants on. Take ownership of your life. Start being your own parent and make yourself do it.
- Follow the 5-second rule
“If you have one of those little impulses that are pulling you (and) if you don’t marry it with an action within 5 seconds, you pull the emergency break and kill the idea.”
Maybe her most famous piece of advice, the Five Second Rule has now turned into Robbins into an International Best Seller. The 5 second rule is so simple. It’s that moment when you feel a nudge – something inside of you says, Go – do that… but then, you don’t. There’s something in our nature and our instincts that tells us to shut that feeling down. To ignore it and just keep going on with whatever it was we were doing. But, it’s time to embrace that nudge – every single time. You don’t know where the thought or impulse is going to go until you follow it. That’s the challenge, right? That leap of courage, leap of faith, to follow that idea. Don’t let the 5 seconds pass before you’ve taken ownership of the idea. Write it down. Text it to yourself. Tell someone what it is. Make yourself accountable for your ideas – because you have great ideas, the problem is …
- Get out of your head. Get past your feelings. Get outside your comfort zone.
“All day long you have ideas that could change your life, that could change the world… And what do you do with them? Nothing.”
There are so many of us who have a thought and immediately send the Negative Nancy in our head to shut it down. “That would never work.” “How would I even start?” “What’s the point of that?” We get so immediately caught in our own mental-web that we don’t give our ideas a chance to even fully form before we attack them. It’s time to let all that stuff go. Move past what feels weird. Start sitting in those moments of discomfort and ask yourself, Why am I so uncomfortable? What isn’t sitting right with me? What would I do to change it?
- Stop hitting your snooze button – both literally and, not.
“Your bed is comfortable. It’s cozy and warm…. Try this. Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for 30 minutes earlier. And then, when it goes off, take those sheets, throw them off, stand up and start your day. No snooze. No delay… You will come face-to-face with the physical force that is required to change your behavior. The activation energy required (to make a change) is the exact same amount of force that it takes you to get out of a warm bed and into a cold room.”
There is nothing more difficult than not hitting the snooze button seven times – especially between the times of 4:55 and 5:20 in the morning. I would know- believe me – I still haven’t mastered it most days. But, there is nothing more gratifying than the feeling of having accomplished something while most of the world is still asleep. There’s nothing more gratifying than having your checklist half completed before you’ve eaten breakfast. It can be difficult to make tangible steps each and every day toward your goals and dreams. But, there are little steps today that can prepare you for tomorrow’s decisions. There’s one way to keep practicing making those tough decisions: set that alarm to 5 a.m. and choose to wake up for it. Each and every day.
Maggie Tarasovitch is a writer and corporate analyst currently based in Columbus, OH. She is a graduate of Syracuse University.
Comments? Questions? Contact Maggie@UpByFive.com